The fastest way to get a man to marry you"
I started this blog yesterday being Sunday, day 8 of January 2017 and made quite a number of Posts about four posts to be specific but I didn't get any comments from you guys... So, today, I am going to take attendance...
----- "the fastest way to get a man to marry you" -
I got this one from a whatsapp group
They say, "the fastest way to get a man to marry
you, is to cook his best meal and serve it with a
chilled bottle of coke" - okay, nobody said that, i
just totally made that up.
But, if it was true; then Nneka would never get
married.
Nneka, was my church crush - church, in the
sense that we attended the same church and she
was in the choir - so yeah, church crush!
But you see, she wasn't like any other choir girl
you know. Forget those "head-tie wearing, Ankle
skirt" girls you're probably imagining.
Nneka had class, and ass too - not sure which was
more, but both were in abundance. Her figure eight
(8) shape wasn't helping matters, not to talk of her
clear American accent - Mehn! Angels had to be
made this way.
So yeah, we eventually started dating after I broke
forcefully out of the deep shackles of friend zone I
was submerged in - middle finger village witches.
During the course of our dating, she kept
complaining about the money I spent eating out
and buying junk food. I never really had a problem
with this cos' I barely had time to cook for myself,
with my 9 - 8 job and all. - Yeah, 9am to 8pm! My
boss was directly related to the devil himself.
Anyways, she offered to cook and insisted on
spending the weekend. She was going to "spoil me
silly" with different kinds of dishes I had never
tasted. I knew right then, that I had found the one.
No more cornflakes and indomie for one week -
goodbye carbohydrates; Hello protein!!
I fell deeper in love.
Saturday finally arrived, and I was treated to a
huge plate of Egusi soup - Everybody's favourite.
I'm not much of a Bible story kinda guy, but after
first taste, I knew instantly that soup must have
been inspired by the story of Lot and the Pillar of
Salt.
My Egusi soup was filled with the missing parts of
the Pillar of Salt. I'm not joking, I might have as
well, ordered a salt solution instead - heck! it felt
like it.
But I let it slide, maybe she was just nervous
cooking for me for the first time - Love, really is
blind.
By evening, we had Beans - or should I even call it
that?
Beans used to be my favourite food, until Nneka
catwalked into my life. Now all I see when I think
of Beans is horror and battlefields.
You think I'm lying? Okay, picture David and
Goliath. Yep, remember those stones David picked
before the fight? - yep! those ones.
They were present in my dinner plate. Actually, I
think I had more stones than Beans for dinner -
but then again Love prevailed, I let it slide.
It was when I saw her washing the rice with soap
and sponge the next morning, I knew that I was
finished.
"Blood of Donald Trump!! ", I shouted!
But deep down, I was certain the end was finally
here. At that moment, I knew my village witches
had won the battle - they were probably twerking
to a Gospel beat sef at that time.
It's been two weeks since that weekend and I've
not had the mind to return her calls or texts.
Please, how do you arrange your lips to tell
somebody you're not doing again?
Brother zone has never felt more perfect to me. I
willingly zone myself.
I give up abeg, I'm not doing again joor!😂😂😂😂
Free Gifts for anyone that sees this post.To prove that:
- You saw this post, Comment: I see
- You didn't see this post, Comment I Pass.
----- "the fastest way to get a man to marry you" -
I got this one from a whatsapp group
They say, "the fastest way to get a man to marry
you, is to cook his best meal and serve it with a
chilled bottle of coke" - okay, nobody said that, i
just totally made that up.
But, if it was true; then Nneka would never get
married.
Nneka, was my church crush - church, in the
sense that we attended the same church and she
was in the choir - so yeah, church crush!
But you see, she wasn't like any other choir girl
you know. Forget those "head-tie wearing, Ankle
skirt" girls you're probably imagining.
Nneka had class, and ass too - not sure which was
more, but both were in abundance. Her figure eight
(8) shape wasn't helping matters, not to talk of her
clear American accent - Mehn! Angels had to be
made this way.
So yeah, we eventually started dating after I broke
forcefully out of the deep shackles of friend zone I
was submerged in - middle finger village witches.
During the course of our dating, she kept
complaining about the money I spent eating out
and buying junk food. I never really had a problem
with this cos' I barely had time to cook for myself,
with my 9 - 8 job and all. - Yeah, 9am to 8pm! My
boss was directly related to the devil himself.
Anyways, she offered to cook and insisted on
spending the weekend. She was going to "spoil me
silly" with different kinds of dishes I had never
tasted. I knew right then, that I had found the one.
No more cornflakes and indomie for one week -
goodbye carbohydrates; Hello protein!!
I fell deeper in love.
Saturday finally arrived, and I was treated to a
huge plate of Egusi soup - Everybody's favourite.
I'm not much of a Bible story kinda guy, but after
first taste, I knew instantly that soup must have
been inspired by the story of Lot and the Pillar of
Salt.
My Egusi soup was filled with the missing parts of
the Pillar of Salt. I'm not joking, I might have as
well, ordered a salt solution instead - heck! it felt
like it.
But I let it slide, maybe she was just nervous
cooking for me for the first time - Love, really is
blind.
By evening, we had Beans - or should I even call it
that?
Beans used to be my favourite food, until Nneka
catwalked into my life. Now all I see when I think
of Beans is horror and battlefields.
You think I'm lying? Okay, picture David and
Goliath. Yep, remember those stones David picked
before the fight? - yep! those ones.
They were present in my dinner plate. Actually, I
think I had more stones than Beans for dinner -
but then again Love prevailed, I let it slide.
It was when I saw her washing the rice with soap
and sponge the next morning, I knew that I was
finished.
"Blood of Donald Trump!! ", I shouted!
But deep down, I was certain the end was finally
here. At that moment, I knew my village witches
had won the battle - they were probably twerking
to a Gospel beat sef at that time.
It's been two weeks since that weekend and I've
not had the mind to return her calls or texts.
Please, how do you arrange your lips to tell
somebody you're not doing again?
Brother zone has never felt more perfect to me. I
willingly zone myself.
I give up abeg, I'm not doing again joor!😂😂😂😂
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